Moonlit Jazz

Today’s poem, “how can it be.”

how can it be
you’ve gone on
left me behind
nursing this heartache
it hasn’t been long enough
since we said good bye
the tears are still fresh
searing hot in my heart
how can it be
you’ve gone on
left me behind
struggling to find my way
bereft of confidence
not matter what anyone says
darkness shields my hopes
desperation feeds me
how can it be
I can’t go on
stalled in this limbo
knowing I must let go
afraid of the next step
reaching inward instead of out
the strength exists
but where is the key
how can it be
I can’t go on
paused in this moment
grasping for inspiration
the poison is looking back
so how do I push it away
forget as you did
when you left me behind

I write a poem everyday and for some reason I want to talk about this one.  🙂

Many times my poems come together after I’ve read something or heard something about someone.  So although they are personal, the poems might not actually be about me.  Sometimes they’re written in the point of view of someone I might or might not know or someone I read or someone who came up in conversation.  Maybe it’s my way of saying, “Hey, I totally understand.”  I like to think I’m giving voice to their pain or their joy or their listlessness.

And yes, sometimes the poems mean absolutely nothing to me, but something to someone else.  It’s interesting taking an abstract idea and turning it into something that someone else understands and feels.  I feel even just a little gratified that any of my poems touch anyone.

I don’t follow any structure with my poems, but many of my poems have a structure.  Sometimes lines repeat with an idea following (as in the one above), sometimes I try the haikus, and sometimes I even rhyme.  It just all really depends on my mood.  🙂

So, “how can it be.”  I read a lot of folks online and as it can happen, two people I read coupled up for awhile.  It didn’t last and it ended rather harshly.  One went on to find a new love and the other is still nursing the hurt and feeling alone.  Yesterday both of them posted to their respective blogs and the polarity of their posts struck me.  And so “how can it be” came along.

My one resolution was to write a poem each day. I did it for January! 😀 I post at my LJ, if you want to read the stuff in real time. 🙂 (more…)