It’s been two weeks since my Southern California trip. I miss the moments! Meeting Greg again, meeting Scott for the first time, spending time with my good friend Lisa. It was a great weekend. And I totally miss it…
Do I push aside the unpleasant things to a point of ignorant bliss? Am I oblivious to things I should be seeing? Should I care about things that potential affect me? Or am I unaffected? Does that make me less than caring, cold to a point of hard ice, indifferent? Am I less of person by not taking sides, by seeing all points, by feeling untouched? Does of this make sense? Why do I speak of abstracts when something specific is on my mind?
I distance myself, I merely listen. But I have thoughts on all of it. Yet for all the rational points I make, I feel nothing. Or do I? Certainly it is not anger. Disappointment, I think. I am bothered only because someone unrelated to the incident is upset. I feel more for that person than I do for the parties concerned.
I only wish she showed her strength. I hate above all things to pity and so I resist pitying her. Another point of anger? Is attention she seeks? Does she really want to know the truth? Or is it a ploy to be center, to have drama?
Do I condone his possible actions? No, I do not. I only wish I knew nothing of this. It’s upsetting and unsettling and altogether odd.
Might I still harbor resentment? Maybe. I should let it go, I know. I thought I had…
