Kevin Tod Smith drifted away from this world, taken before we were ready to let him go. He left behind his family and friends. He left behind his devoted fans.
I don’t know what I could say that I haven’t said before. Do I still think about him? Everyday. Do I miss him? Absolutely. Yet I never knew this wonderful man.
I treasure the moments of being in his presence. I can still remember the first time we met. The giddiness. The stifled awe. How could this beautiful and gorgeous man be so gracious? So warm. And so friendly. I remember standing next to him as he signed my photo, reciting the letters that spell my name. I tried not to laugh as he stopped after the “L” trying to remember the rest of my name.
But even before that, I remember the moment he walked into the room. The conversations hushed as he made his way. Then the noise picked up. We didn’t want him to feel self-conscious. But his very presence filled the room. He was so vibrant.
As with most of my fellow fans, I learned of Kevin’s passing online. An email was sent out to one of the many mailing lists devoted to him. I read it. I couldn’t believe it. I followed the link in the email. I cried.
I do not think a day has passed without one thought of Kevin. A short moment that always brings a smile and just a bit of melancholy. A kind of honor to his memory.
I will always be grateful for having adored him. My admiration for him led me to people who became dear friends. And I am happy that we are still friends.
And my favorite memory of Kevin? His beautiful version of “In the Ghetto” at the 1999 Xena convention in San Francisco. The stage was dim as he sang a most perfect Elvis-esque rendition of the song. I wish I could relive that night. Sometimes when I hear that song I can take myself back to that dark and beautiful moment.
Thank you again Kevin Tod Smith. You are still in my thoughts. Always…
